PRESS RELEASE: Mrs Christmas
Written: Wednesday 16th December, 2009
BEST JOKES
A festive 'Doctor Doctor' joke was yesterday (tues) named the nation's favourite Christmas cracker gag.
More than 25million boxes of crackers are sold in the UK each Christmas with most still containing the standard 'jokes' inside.
A poll of 4,000 people for Christmas decorations retailer www.mrschristmas.co.uk yesterday voted on the best AND worst of the festive rib-ticklers.
In Number One spot came;
Doctor: ''What seems to be the problem?''
Santa: ''I seem to have a mince pie stuck up my bottom!''
Doctor: ''I've got just the cream for that!''
Second prize went to ''Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted the no-bell prize' with ''What goes oh, oh, oh? Santa walking backwards'' in third.
''What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer was voted into fourth place.
And ''What did Adam yell on the day before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve!'' completed the top five.
The survey also threw up some absolute stinkers - ''What's purple and yells help? A damson in distress'' - named as the best of the worst.
''What do you call the fear of getting stuck while sliding down a chimney? Santa Claus-trophbia', came second worst while 'What happened to the turkey at Christmas? It got gobbled', was third.
Su Ridley, from www.mrschristmas.co.uk, said: ''Despite the rise in political correctness people in Britain still love a joke that is slightly risqué.
''More than 25million boxes of crackers are sold in the UK each Christmas - most still have jokes inside.
''Christmas cracker jokes are like pantomimes, they are part of our heritage and the British people want jokes that they have heard time and again and they love groaning at them.
''The winner in our survey of the the most popular cracker joke among people in Britain makes most people laugh out loud and part of its appeal is that it definitely isn't p.c."
Traditional Christmas crackers were invented by London sweetmaker Thomas Smith who used them to promote sweet sales.
Top 10 Christmas cracker jokes
1. Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Santa: I seem to have a mince pie stuck up my bottom!
Doctor: I've got just the cream for that!
2. Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
He wanted to win the no-bell prize
3. What goes oh, oh, oh?
Santa walking backwards
4. What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
5. What did Adam yell on the day before Christmas?
'It's Christmas, Eve!'
6. What do you call a penguin in the Sahara Desert?
Lost
7. What kind of room has no windows or doors?
A mushroom
8. What do you call a man with brown paper trousers?
Russell
9. How did the human cannonball lose his job?
He got fired
10. Why don't ducks tell jokes when they're flying?
Because they would quack up
Top 10 worst Christmas cracker jokes
1. What's purple and yells help?
A damson in distress
2. What do you call the fear of getting stuck while sliding down a chimney?
Santa Claus-trophbia
3. What happened to the turkey at Christmas?
It got gobbled!
4. How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
5. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsilitis!
6. What's the fastest thing in the water?
A motor pike
7. Why did the skeleton go to the New Year's Eve party?
He had no body to go with
8. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments!
9. I've just bought a dog with no nose
How does he smell?
Awful
10. What's the most popular Christmas wine? 'I don't like Brussels sprouts!
Research conducted by global market research company www.onepoll.com
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